$690 spent.

i filled out the online form from the airline, but i didn't click anything, i just stared at the page. i stared and smoked a bowl. the button was red, rectangular with rounded edges and said confirm in white letters. my cursor was right on top of it. to the left was a larger box with a mathmatical equation in it. the final line read "Total: $689.21".

i'm poor, i dont make much money at all, well under the poverty line... $700 is a lot of money to me, i dont have too many bills, but i did think of everything i could get with $689.21: tattoos, a gun; i just saw a nice motorcycle on craigslist for $700. I could live well for a month, maybe two, on this much money... and i was debating on spending it on purchasing 30 hours trapped in a little tin tube breathing recirculated air and eating rehydrated space food while sitting next to an obnoxious bore.

i told anna my dilemma. she is level headed and wise. probably more sane than i am, and i trust her judgment on things like this... i know she's much more conservative than i am when it comes to adventure and danger. she encouraged me to go. said she wished she had the opportunity. just the support i needed to make a tough decision.

i clicked the button.

the fucking webpage had timed out.

so i filled out the 5 page form again and clicked the ominous red button.

payment confirmed.

i did it

i bought the fuckers; i'm going to australia.

the idea came to me 5 days ago. my doctor told me i should hike much for the next few weeks, which blew my plans to go to arizona and help herd sheep for the navajo. a friend had told me the day before about a special sale on tickets to australia that was ending on june 2nd. so i looked at the options... and wound up here now.

i dont really know anyone or anything to do there. i can't afford motel rooms or bus fare. maybe not even food or beer, but we'll see. i looked up some stuff online. and am trying to put together a rough plan.

i've wanted to go for years, and have put off a lot of possibilities to go, waiting on having a travelling partner, or a little more money, or whatever... but this time i decided not to put it off any more, i can make it happen... i can make my dreams come true.